Saturday, September 22, 2012

Zombies Cannot Stop Me

I arrived at the site of the zombie infestation early this morning, it was pretty sparsely covered with people at that point. 


After checking in I received my health packs and got lined up at the gate.  Umbrella guards were trying to keep the crowds under control as we clamoured for them to set us free on the course.  A mob of zombies was off to the left, luckily they have not figured out how to climb fences yet.


The wave was released in three parts, I was in the last section.  I passed by quite a few people right away and lead the storm out of my particular gate as we caught up to the people released just moments ahead of us.  The zombies we came across first were just shamblers, they waved at us weakly and the were simple to dodge around.  The first obstacle was a series of three mud pits, some people panicked and jumped right in, or tried to make the leap and missed the far side.  I stuck to the side and leaped across the water.  I did not want wet shoes five minutes into this whole ordeal.  The only thing worse than a Zombie Apocalypse, is a Zombie Apocalypse with squishy shoes.

The trail zigged and zagged through the woods, zombies were smattered throughout and it was during one of these early woods sections that I lost my first of three health flags.  When we finally emerged from the woods there was a swath of field, zombies were waiting, crying for brains!  Fortunately I’m not only fast but dexterous and was able to weave my way through the field of monsters.  It was here that we came upon a house.  It was small and full of corridors but I made it through with only one wrong turn.

Back into the woods, and back to dodging the slow and weak zombies.  Thankfully since I started in the third part of this first wave I was constantly passing people and so I usually had people to use as shields and decoys as we passed my the walking undead.  We came across another field of zombies.  This one had a runner or two and I must have smelled particularly brainy to one of them as he began to give chase.  Thankfully I had been doing sprints to prepare as it took me running full out for a good 20 – 30 seconds to get away from the brain craving beast.  


Shelter.  A building filled with hanging electric fencing.  Who designs these places, totally unsuitable to use as a shelter from the zombie hoards I ran through dodging the wires.  One of them dragged on my arm as I passed and I got a jolt, nothing serious, but enough to know I didn’t want to feel it again.  A zombie was waiting at the end of the wires, I waved, said ‘hi’ and bolted away from him.  Out of the house was another field of the living dead which I had to sprint through to make it out alive. 

Back in the woods someone had set up coils of barbed wire to stop the zombies, luckily there was enough room under for me to dip under each coil.  One of the few people ahead of me was heading back from a fork in the track shouting to go the other way.  He had run into a dead end.  I took his advice and shortly thereafter we emerged from the woods yet again.


run for your lives obstacle

We then had to climb a huge structure I can only imagine was there to impede the progress of the zombies and then slide down a water slide into a pool of freezing water that was about three feet deep.  The end was in sight from there, just one more field of zombies.  I managed to dodge the first few, but by this time I was on my own.  No one around to use as a decoy.  A zombie grabbed at one of my flags and I swatted his hand away but I lost my second health flag right after that.  I only had one left and still a half dozen undead to get past.

Turn on the jets!  I flat out ran the fastest I have ever gone.  Dipping between two zombies I used my arms to shield my last flag and burst through the group.  The tunnel that lead to the safe zone was just up ahead!  I crawled through the tunnel and rolled under the fence and into safety!


I was the 2nd person to cross the line! 24:28 was my time through this nightmarish hell.  I have found the cure and will soon deliver you all from the zombie infestation that awaits you.  Your Welcome.



It was a super fun race and a much more agreeable course than that of the mudnewton and I will totally do this again next year!  So much fun!

It turns out that my time and place stood up as 2nd best for the entire day!  Yeah that’s right I finished second out of EVERYONE!  How awesome is that‽

Check out the full set of pictures form the day over on the Facebook page!

And Check out the professional photos that finally came in the mail!


  1. Wow, that is awesome Chris.
    Absolutely awesome, exceptional, stellar and fantastic times ten.

    We are very proud of you.

  2. I survived the Toronto Zombie 5km obstacle course too! I was in the 11:00 wave and finished just behind you in 1539th place overall...HA! It was a blast, next time I'm the ZOMBIE!!!

  3. Awesome job surviving, it sure wasn't easy! I want to do both next year, so much fun!

  4. Is this topic connected with your education or maybe is it mostly about your hobbies and kinds of spending your free time?

    1. Education in surviving!! The whole blog is mostly like how I spend my free time and stay in shape and whatnot. Once in a while I am told I write things that are inspirational